Currently

I've been doing the "Currently" posts for a while now, and initially modeled it after Dani's of Sometimes Sweet. I've decided to cut it down a bit, and change it up a little, since it always has felt like by the end of these I'm repeating myself.


Reading The latest, (and last?!), Sookie Stackhouse book - Dead Ever After. I'm about a quarter of the way through it, and before I even started it I dreaded that it wasn't going to end the series the way I wanted it to, which bums me out, but now I'm pretty much convinced it won't end how I like. Although it could surprise me, of course. I'm sad it's the last Sookie book.

Watching The Great Gatsby. Okay... I know I'm in the minority here, but, I really liked it! I thought it was an interesting take on the book, while still staying pretty true to the story, (although not 100% of course). But I love Baz Luhrmann movies. I can probably recite every line to Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rogue. Singing included. I also have a deep love for Leo, of course, so I was pretty much guaranteed to like this movie even before seeing it.

Listening We saw The Killers last week here live, and it was an amazing show! It was a very fun, energetic performance. As I tend to do after seeing someone live, whether new to me or not, I've been enjoying their catalogue of music pretty much every day. It's like rediscovering their music all over again. My favorite that they did live was actually "All These Things That I've Done", which surprised me, since it wasn't one I particularly loved before.

Loving My Dad randomly showed up to my door a couple weeks ago with a Sirius XM SkyDock. I have been wanting satellite radio in my car for ages, especially since I can't stand half of what I hear on the local radio, and I long ago stopped burning mixed CDs for my car. It was a very welcome surprise! It's awesome because it plays through my iPhone, which I didn't know was even available, (and, bonus, it charges my phone for me while I'm driving around). So in addition to re-listening to The Killers, I've also been listening to lots of new stuff on that sweet little baby.

Anticipating Neon Desert Music Fest! It's on the 25th, so just barely more than a week away, and one of my favorite bands is playing this year - Dragonette! I'm so excited to get to see them play live again, and I'm looking forward to hearing all the other new-to-me bands that day, too.

An Annivesary & Mother's Day Weekend

Some photos from our anniversary and mother's day weekend. Also stuck in one up there at the top from seeing the Killers last week live, during their encore. (So good.) I promise that in that picture of Tyler with the wine glass that you are really seeing his "Oh, you're taking a picture of me? Well here's my smile"-smile, and that he is not pissed. That is really his normal ol' smile.


Friday was our anniversary, and even though he had other things he probably should have been doing, Tyler took the day off to be with me. Because it made me happy. There was a lot of movie watching and eating involved. We saw The Great Gatsby, which I personally thought was pretty... well, great. HA! We never get to see movies on opening weekend, so that was especially nice.  We hit a restaurant, a new-ish local place called Opus, that we had been meaning to try out for about a year, but just never gotten around to. It's probably my new favorite - it was seriously delicious all around, and I already want to go back. The whole menu sounded tasty.

My parents kept the boys for us so that we could have a night not worrying about having to get home early, so of course we came home by 830, rented another movie and were asleep by 11. We both slept in til 9 the next morning, which I can tell you has happened exactly one other time before then, and it was glorious. GLORIOUS.

Saturday we got our little boogers back, so we spent the majority of the day tidying playing and messing in the backyard and outside before the weather turned bad on us and we were forced to move our adventures indoors. Then Sunday was, of course, one of my favorite days of the year. Good ol' dad let momma bear sleep in and made pancakes and bacon and coffee that was ready the minute I rolled my lazy self out of bed. I was also greeted with a blast of "Happy mudder's dayyyy!" from Parker, (and loud squealing from Auggie), followed immediately by Parker shoving a card into my face. For my mothering efforts this year I was rewarded with a Target card and strict instructions to spend it "exclusively" on myself. So I spent a happy hour and a half strolling around Target that afternoon only to realize there was nothing I actually wanted bad enough to spend my card on, (ridiculous, I know), before heading back home to watch my boys wreck the yard some more. In the afternoon we went to my parents to swim and eat and see old family friends, and to meet some new ones.

It was a very lovely weekend. : )

Five

Tyler and I have been married five years today. In so many ways, it feels like it's been WAY longer, ha! But I guess that's what having two kiddos right away will do to you. In other ways it also feels like our wedding was just yesterday.

//This last one was taken on Monday night at the Killers concert.//

We've been through a lot together, and there is no one I'd rather go through it all with. It's been a happy five years. : ) I love you, T!

Gone

I have sat down and tried to write this post at least 100 times in the last two weeks, and every time I try I just get too emotional.

Two weeks ago today my mother-in-law, Michelle, passed away. It was Tax Day - the big day we'd been looking forward to for weeks! The day that meant we could breathe a sigh of relief that all the crazy work hours were done with! Tyler was leaving for work just before 7 that morning, and we were saying our goodbyes in the living room when his phone rang. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I knew only his stepdad, Eric, would call so early in the morning. When Tyler hung up the phone he turned around to face me and he said,
"She's gone."

The details that I did share here on my blog about her were few and far between. I did this out of respect for Michelle's privacy. I did often want to come here and write about what was happening in our family, just to write. To get such heavy feelings off my chest. However, as I said, I didn't, and there was the reason why.

Michelle was diagnosed with a brain tumor, glioblastoma multiforme, in February 2011 - on her 60th birthday. She did remarkably well for nearly two whole years after being diagnosed. She was just incredibly strong about it from the first moment she found out. She wanted to fight it, she wanted to beat it, and she didn't want to waste any time feeling sorry for herself.

Up until about the beginning of this year, she did very well. If someone didn't flat out tell you about it, you would never know that she was fighting cancer. I still ran into her several times a week at the gym, where she worked out with a personal trainer. She would come pretty often and pick up Parker in the afternoons, and take him out to play, and get ice cream. She came over some nights to watch the boys for us while we went out, and put them to bed. She was always astonished at how easy of a baby August was - when we would get home, she would marvel about how happy he had been all evening. Parker always begged for her to swing him on the swing set the second she would step foot through our door, and she always indulged him for as long as he wanted. She went out and bought a swing set for her backyard, so she could swing him whenever we came over there, too. We were accustomed to weekly Sunday night dinners at her house, where she insisted on cooking for us and entertaining, while we raved or ranted about the latest Sons of Anarchy episode together.

//Left: Michelle with Parker at 10 months old in 2009; Right: with August at his first birthday party.//

We moved back to El Paso from Arlington because of Michelle's diagnosis, and I am very happy we did so, especially so quickly. We had a year and a half here at home with her, and that year and half is filled with memories with her that couldn't be traded for anything. By the middle of March, we were all aware that things were moving much more quickly. Tyler's sister came in town most weekends, and we tried to be with her as much as time would allow. One of the last times I was with Michelle, just a few weeks ago now, we were out to dinner with the whole family. There was a long wait at the restaurant, people were spilling out the front doors, Tyler was chasing the kids around, and the other members of our party were lost in the mix somewhere. Suddenly I found that it was just Michelle and I standing there alone together. Even though I consider us to have been close as far as mother/daughter-in-law relationships go, we were probably not as open as some. So, in a rare instance, I moved to stand by her side. I encircled my arm in hers, and leaned my head over on her shoulder. She leaned her head a little back onto mine. We stood there like that for a minute or so before I whispered to her, "I love you." She didn't say anything, she wasn't talking much anymore by that point, but when I looked over at her a moment later, she was crying silently. I loved Michelle very much, but verbal "I love you's" were not common between us... I am glad I had that chance to tell her privately, at least that once, and I hope she knew how much I meant it.

Michelle was the closest person to me that I've ever lost, friend or family. She was kind and generous toward me, and accepted me into her family from the very first moment we met. She was a fantastic mother-in-law, a wonderful grandmother, and an incredible woman. I will miss her terribly.

5K - DONE

On my birthday back in August, I made this ridiculous promise to myself, (among others), that I would run a 5K. I really don't even fully know what possessed me to do this. And then, stupidly, I told Tyler about it. So then I knew there was no going back on it, because I knew he'd never shut up about "that one time, when you said you were gonna run a 5K by your next birthday... and then you didn't", if I didn't make good on it.

Well... So... I did it! The race was two weeks ago, the annual El Paso Marathon/Half/5K. Tyler didn't train for it at all, and stayed with me the whole time. (Ugh, jerk. I trained for seven weeks!) But it was reassuring to have him by my side. I also made my little mini-goal, which was to finish in under 40 minutes, and we did it in just under 39, so woohoo! Oh, and did I mention? It was my first time since starting training that I was not running on the treadmill... Yeah. I was very sore for a good four days afterwards. Totally different running on pavement.

My hope about training for this was that I would just suddenly love to run. Well, I don't hate running anymore, not like I used to, but I still don't love it. It is growing on me, though. It's good time for thinking and I tend to feel less stressed out on days I've gotten a run in. I think I had always hated running before because I thought I couldn't run. Even back in high school when I think I was in the best shape of my life, I played tennis five or six days a week, and I promise you I could not have run one full lap around the track to save my life. But it's growing on me. And I'm not scared anymore that I just can't. I just know now that if I'm ever being chased by a psychopath with a meat cleaver, I can actually run from them.
  

// T and I after we finished the race. //

I could have stopped running the second I was done with the 5K two weeks ago, but I've still been keeping at it. I've decided to try running one or two more 5Ks this year. Like I said... I don't love it, but... it's growing on me.

So, anyway, to recap, 26th birthday goals:

1. Pay off all of my credit card debt. DONE.

2. Run a 5K. BOOM. Done. And hopefully more to come.

3. Finish school... Probably not likely this year. : / But then, it's not really my fault on this one.

Currently

Yeah. It's been a while. LIFE, what can I tell ya? It's kinda more important than blogging. Perfect timing for a new currently post, though, to bring you back up to speed...

Obsessing over…
Money, school, and running. In that order. To expand on that, without writing a novel...
Money: I've got all of my credit cards paid off - finally/again - and I'm trying to scrounge up some extra money right away to keep me from going right back to old habits. I've cancelled one card, but I have one still open juuuuust in case! I want to have more security and have some money in savings, which I had for a while, but then screwed up and had to use it to pay my cards back off. Ugh. So I've had a garage sale, been selling on ebay and craigslist again, and I'm getting ready to help my Mom have a garage sale at her house, too.
School: A very long story with this, but someone at Tech really screwed up, and as a result I have basically been forced to switch my degree plan, as well as to a different part of the university, and it's been one ridiculous big hassle and a headache. And I will not be able to graduate as soon as I had hoped. And that means not just more time spent, but money, too, (grrrrr). And one of my classes this semester may be just a teensy bit wayfuckingharder than I thought it would be. I'm pretty stressed out about this one.
Running: I started training for that 5K I said I was gonna run. Surprise! I did train for it, and I already ran it this past weekend! (Will hopefully post about that soon.) Anyway, as a result, I've come to like running a little bit. Damn it. So I've been obsessing over what days to run, how far I can run, for how long at a time, etc. It's maddening for me, since I've always sworn about how much I hated running... I still kind of do. Anyway, like I said, hopefully more on that in a new post soon.

Anticipating…
Warmer weather, Tyler's accountant busy season being over, (come onnnnnn April 15th!), the start of baseball season, and what 5K to run in next.

Reading...
I have not done much reading lately, except for classes. So I really haven't had time to finish that bloody On The Road that's still sitting on my nightstand, staring at me judgingly, nor anything else. But I suppose I can count my Greek mythology textbook here? Yes, I think I will count it.

Watching...
Since my last Currently post, I finally picked up Downton Abbey, which my Mom had been nagging me to watch for awhile. So good. I finished the first two seasons before the third started airing, and then I watched that up through the finale last week, of course. Can I just say it? Dan Stevens is a schmuck. Next season will not be the same... Anyway, now I need something new to start on. I'm thinking either Walking Dead or Game of Thrones.

Listening to…
Nothing much. I have listened to "Chelsea Dagger" (by The Fratellis) a lot since I started running, I kind of made it my anthem. So that's been in my head a lot as a result. I think it's fitting... (See: Run Fatboy Run.)

// image //

Anyway. Here are some random photos from the last six weeks or so.

Be Content