// Grams, in her early 20's in college; me, at 23. I like knowing I do resemble her in small ways. //
I look to her, and my memory of her, for inspiration to be a better mother and person on a daily basis. I will not probably ever be half as classy of a lady as she was is, but I try. I'd like to make her proud. I desperately would like to have a little girl to name after her someday - even though I have a handful of cousins and second-cousins with one of her names already. It would mean a lot to me to name my daughter after Emma Jeanne, or Shay, as she so often went by.
When I started to write out this post yesterday, I hunted for hours for a very specific photo I have of her and I from when I was still in high school, so that I could put it up with this post. It's a very sentimental photograph to me. Grams had come to visit for a week or two, and one morning, she and I had both come into my Mom's bedroom just to watch the news, have coffee, lay around on her bed and talk... A pretty normal occurrence whenever we were together. Whenever I stay with my parents, I still do this most mornings with my Mom. It was a small thing, but I always loved it.
In the photo, I was laying on Mom's bed, and Grams is laid across my legs, hugging on me, while we were both smiling about something. It's not the perfect picture, it was even a little blurry, I think, but it just means so much to me to have it. And it kills me that I can't find it, because I'm scared that means it's somehow been thrown out or lost forever. I'm fairly certain I have the only copy of it. I cried about it a little last night.
She probably never knew how much she meant to me, but she always has been important in my life. I love her very much.
Happy birthday Grams.
She probably never knew how much she meant to me, but she always has been important in my life. I love her very much.
Happy birthday Grams.
// Grams and 5 week old Parker, November 2008 //
What a touching and beautiful post! You look very much like her, I think its the warm smiles :) I am sure she knows how much you love her, and this was a truly fitting way to express it!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE THIS!!! That is exactly the way I feel about her, too, Nat...she absolutely DID light up a room! As a child I was a little afraid of her...she always looked so flustered (couldn't be because she was trying to keep up with 4 kids, could it?), but as I grew up, her pesonality, story telling skills, and just energy radiated out from her.One of the last stories I heard her tell was about getting locked out of your Mom's house when she came to visit in Abilene.. I laughed for days! The last time we had a real conversation was at my mother's funeral. My family had asked that I give the eulogy, and I was looking right into Aunt Jean's face, and said, "I don't think I can do this." She put her arms on my shoulders and said, "Yes-Yes you CAN ShayLyn. You are your mother's daughter, and you sure CAN do this, better than anyone." And I did. She was a force for me, an ideal that I would certainly never live up to, but she was (is) light and laughter and love-my Aunt Jean...Love you and Natalie, you have GOOD GENES running through you! Your Mama, you, and your sons are part of the wonderful heritage that we Shavers and Lairs and Robertsons all came from. We are lucky!
ReplyDeleteYou do look like her!Great dimples pretty lady!
ReplyDeleteLove your blog!
Just became a Bloglovin' follower!
Cheers,
Messy
www.shelleysarina.blogspot.com
Such a beautiful post. This reminded me of my grandmother who passed away a little over a year ago. She also battled dementia for the last 8 years of her life. Visit her often and cherish those visits! I visited my grandmother once a week during those 8 years and was one of the only grandchildren she remembered up to her last days.
ReplyDeleteI also just became a Bloglovin' follower - love your blog too!
http://noahbabyblog.com/
What a sweet blog post! The whole time I was reading I kept thinking that it sounds so familiar... My grandmother is going to be 85 come January and she suffers from dementia, too. It is very sad to see people we care so much about in that state. My grandma has always been my favorite out of my family.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog from Freckled Nest and I just love it. It's so pretty! :)